ReaganCat & HillaryCat for President in 2016, Ed Miliband and David Cameron (UK) catified

Reagancat, first genetically engineered Presidential candidate Announced his 2016 candidacy at an Ohio Jelly Bean factory Has spent his first 7 lives on Hollywood western movie sets writing his new proposal for Tickle Down Economics
Reagancat, first genetically engineered Presidential candidate
Announced his 2016 candidacy at an Ohio Jelly Bean factory
Has spent his first 7 lives on Hollywood western movie sets writing his new proposal for Tickle Down Economics
Hillarycat Clinton  New York's first cat Senator, Former Secretary of Hissing under the Obama administration Took responsibility for deaths in a 2012 bengal attack Was the first cat to announce the announcement of her announcement of her intention to run for President of the United States Would become the first female feline President in U.S. history
Hillarycat Clinton
New York’s first cat Senator, Former Secretary of Hissing under the Obama administration
Took responsibility for deaths in a 2012 bengal attack
Was the first kitty kitty to announce the announcement of her announcement of her intention to run for President of the United States
Would become the first female feline President in U.S. history
Ed Miliband & David Cameron, in a heated race to Downing Street for the position of Prime Kipper David Cameron currently purrs as the Prime Minister of the United Kats, and in recent polls has pulled points ahead of Miliband thanks to a plan for putting one out of every ten kittens born in a cardboard box into a slightly larger cardboard box Ed Miliband has been criticized for not scheduling nap time into a recently proposed 9 lives economic plan for the UK
Ed Miliband & David Cameron, in a heated race to Downing Street for the position of Prime Kipper (Minister)
David Cameron currently purrs as the Prime Kipper of the United Kats, and in recent polls has pulled points ahead of Miliband thanks to a plan for putting one out of every ten kittens born in a cardboard box into a slightly larger cardboard box
Ed Miliband has recently been criticized for not scheduling nap time into a recently proposed comprehensive 9 lives long economic plan for the UK

by Anthony Pego

 

If Ed Miliband fails to capture the working class vote with his Hollywood cowboy President inspired responses to the conservative party leader and current UK Prime Minister David Cameron, I predict Hillary Clinton will lose the election in 2016.

 

Miliband is apparently an aficionado in things Americana, especially Ronald Reagan and his political tactics and theatrics. Miliband has also had a clear message, one that aims to convince center-left voters their actions on Downing Street will benefit more of those in need than just a few lucky public housing tenants who might suddenly find themselves able to buy a government subsidised home.

 

Unfortunately, the issue for Miliband and his Labour party appears to be the lack of a time line expected in delivering their goals, and it appears the public isn’t waiting around to find out when he thinks he can deliver. Three weeks out from an election is pretty short notice; I don’t blame them.

 

Which brings me to Clinton:

 

If Clinton does not pick a message to deliver to the nation in a concise, consistent, and time oriented fashion sooner rather than later I fear the notion of “Are you better off now than 20 years ago?” (I’m paraphrasing, but guessing it’s a safe bet the Republicans will, at some point, remind us of the time the Clinton dynasty shut down the government), a classic play from Reagan’s book, delivered by George Bush IV (aka: Jeb) might be just enough rhetoric to unseat the Democrats entirely.

 

For a brief moment, people will think about racial tensions, extinct diseases reemerging, runaway weather pattern changes, mass extinctions, man-made earthquakes, water scarcity, unmanagable inflation, a continually shrinking middle class, the militarization of our Girl Scouts and they will think “No, I’m not really better off than 20 years ago,” and that will be enough to give the other candidate a shot. And right now Jeb Bush is the other guy. 

 

What some of you may fail to remember is though the Clinton administration did hold all but minimum government function hostage for 3 weeks, the holdout is credited by the Congressional Budget Office for leading the country to a balanced budget and eventual surplus. If economical outcomes isn’t your thing, perhaps taking a glance at what just a few years of a Clinton in the White House will do for the state of music in our country,  may I present the top 5 songs in 1995 (3 years into the Clinton administration):

1. Gangsta’s Paradise, Coolio
2. Waterfalls, TLC
3. Creep, TLC
4. Kiss from a Rose, Seal
5. On Bended Knee, Boyz II Men

 

Now let’s take a look at the top 5 songs in George Bush Jr.’s third year :

1. In Da Club, 50 Cent
2. Ignition, R. Kelly
3. Get Busy, Sean Paul
4.  Crazy In Love, Beyonce feat. Jay Z
5. When I’m Gone, 3 Doors Down

 

And finally let’s see 3 years into Bush Sr.’s administration:

1. End of the Road, Boyz II Men
2. Baby Got Back, Sir Mix-a-Lot
3. Jump, Kris Kross
4. Save the Best for Last, Vanessa Williams
5. Baby-Baby-Baby, TLC

 

I believe I’ve illustrated my point: If we want more TLC than we know what to do with on the radio, another Clinton must sit in the Oval Office, especially when you consider the risk of getting another 3 Doors Down song in our lives. The one consolation of another Bush in office would be the possibility of a Sir-Mix-a-Lot / Vanessa Williams Christmas special on iTunes.

 

If Miliband does win, it doesn’t mean we get Coolio back on the air (but it should) and a Clinton back in the Presidents seat, but it would mean the working class in a media saturated world are tuning in instead of turning off, at least in one major Western culture. Considering all the Presidential candidates haven’t yet announced, I have high hopes for an as-of-yet unannounced surprise that brings in the resurgence of 1980’s top 5 (3 years after Jimmy Carter took office):

1. Call Me, Blondie
2. Another Brick In The Wall, Pink Floyd
3. Magic, Olivia Neeton-John
4. Rock With You, Michael Jackson
5. Do That To Me One More Time, Captain and Tennille

 

Does Jimmy Carter have any kids with political aspirations? 

 

AP

@BooScience

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P.S. Some of you may have noticed David Cameron is drawn in the style of Wallace and Grommet claymation. Very observant. You win a cookie.*

 

*not really a cookie, more likely a crudely drawn anthropomorphic cat or three