- Coordinated an equal cats rights nap-in while attending the University of Chicatgo
- Spoke against big tuna bailouts
- Ranking minority member of the Senate Budgie Watch Committee
I’m pitching a show to OETA and CSPAN-2 called Oklahoma Yards where a crew of my highly trained (a combined 128 hours at OCCC Film school for pets) cats and I interview people while standing on their lawn. We will ask about their lawn, their maintenance routines, the events they currently have within the confines of their yard space, and in the end of the show we bring in a truck from Habitat For Humanity and renovate their space to update and innovate their horizontal haven.
You will find attached a quick sketch panel for use as a visual aid during the presentation. We would start with Oklahoma’s most recognizable yards, the Oklahoma Governor’s Mansion, and the State Capitol yard, where by the time we get our film permits and vacciness updated there should be lawn ornaments or other less legally restricted morality reminders on the grounds in lieu of a proper ten commandments monument. They will do well to break up the always gorgeous Capital lawn, now more admirable than ever thanks to a crumbling facade, making it difficult to enjoy or come in close proximity to the Capitol itself. No loss, really, as the oil rig and what I assume will be pink flamingos or gnomes holding commandments on tiny signs will serve this shows needs fully. As for the Governor’s Mansion and having the Governor’s daughter there, along with any other trailer based family or friends they might invite over, will make for excellent interviews, and maybe we can score the cats and film crew passes to the next big art show. Could be an entirely different show where the cats critique art and interview artists at their own shows right before they leave, so they’re good and liquored up. The cats enjoy drunk interviewees, they pet with a heavy hand.
A script is currently in the works by the lead writer cat on our team, Miffins Scrumple Bush Jr. The second episode will showcase the Overholser lawns, along with the Phillips, and finally we will end it with Sweet Brown’s, uh, yard. Alley. We won’t be picky. We look forward to the approval process on these pitches, and can’t wait to sell you signed DVDs at the next Affair of the Heart. Until next time, Oklahoma!
It turns out Pluto has an atmosphere that extends out further than expected, shares a center of gravity with Charon that is in space between the two bodies, instead of inside her mass. She’s bigger than expected, she’s round, and geologically astounding, so it is my belief Pluto should be reinstated as a planet, or at the very least labelled our solar system’s only dual planet system.
She’s sexy, she’s big and bad. She deserves it.
Robert Lorton III, a former publisher at the Tulsa World, has sprung a secret project upon the World, or rather, built one using its (former) resources. At least four journalists have left the World to take an opportunity offered by the only man who could have saved me time from redrawing Rick Moranis in this Honey I Shrunk The Kids parody. The nature of the media group is unknown, but R. L. III probably didn’t hire 4 or more journalists so his name would be spelled right on his morning coffee.
Personally I hope the new project, dubbed The Frontier, is a 24 hour Uber-like service wherein journalists will come to the location you request from your app, and the journalist will write the blurb, take social media photos, and push out a press release for whatever you need – your morning coffee pontifications, what you’re eating for lunch, perhaps a brief interview of you at your favorite bands concert. Whatever they decide to do, I’m looking forward to drawing more cartoons parodying Rick Moranis movies.
A huge thanks goes to redditor daveac1982 for inspiring the last two comics with a cat wrangling request!