- Coordinated an equal cats rights nap-in while attending the University of Chicatgo
- Spoke against big tuna bailouts
- Ranking minority member of the Senate Budgie Watch Committee
by Anthony Pego
If Ed Miliband fails to capture the working class vote with his Hollywood cowboy President inspired responses to the conservative party leader and current UK Prime Minister David Cameron, I predict Hillary Clinton will lose the election in 2016.
Miliband is apparently an aficionado in things Americana, especially Ronald Reagan and his political tactics and theatrics. Miliband has also had a clear message, one that aims to convince center-left voters their actions on Downing Street will benefit more of those in need than just a few lucky public housing tenants who might suddenly find themselves able to buy a government subsidised home.
Unfortunately, the issue for Miliband and his Labour party appears to be the lack of a time line expected in delivering their goals, and it appears the public isn’t waiting around to find out when he thinks he can deliver. Three weeks out from an election is pretty short notice; I don’t blame them.
Which brings me to Clinton:
If Clinton does not pick a message to deliver to the nation in a concise, consistent, and time oriented fashion sooner rather than later I fear the notion of “Are you better off now than 20 years ago?” (I’m paraphrasing, but guessing it’s a safe bet the Republicans will, at some point, remind us of the time the Clinton dynasty shut down the government), a classic play from Reagan’s book, delivered by George Bush IV (aka: Jeb) might be just enough rhetoric to unseat the Democrats entirely.
For a brief moment, people will think about racial tensions, extinct diseases reemerging, runaway weather pattern changes, mass extinctions, man-made earthquakes, water scarcity, unmanagable inflation, a continually shrinking middle class, the militarization of our Girl Scouts and they will think “No, I’m not really better off than 20 years ago,” and that will be enough to give the other candidate a shot. And right now Jeb Bush is the other guy.
What some of you may fail to remember is though the Clinton administration did hold all but minimum government function hostage for 3 weeks, the holdout is credited by the Congressional Budget Office for leading the country to a balanced budget and eventual surplus. If economical outcomes isn’t your thing, perhaps taking a glance at what just a few years of a Clinton in the White House will do for the state of music in our country, may I present the top 5 songs in 1995 (3 years into the Clinton administration):
1. Gangsta’s Paradise, Coolio
2. Waterfalls, TLC
3. Creep, TLC
4. Kiss from a Rose, Seal
5. On Bended Knee, Boyz II Men
Now let’s take a look at the top 5 songs in George Bush Jr.’s third year :
1. In Da Club, 50 Cent
2. Ignition, R. Kelly
3. Get Busy, Sean Paul
4. Crazy In Love, Beyonce feat. Jay Z
5. When I’m Gone, 3 Doors Down
And finally let’s see 3 years into Bush Sr.’s administration:
1. End of the Road, Boyz II Men
2. Baby Got Back, Sir Mix-a-Lot
3. Jump, Kris Kross
4. Save the Best for Last, Vanessa Williams
5. Baby-Baby-Baby, TLC
I believe I’ve illustrated my point: If we want more TLC than we know what to do with on the radio, another Clinton must sit in the Oval Office, especially when you consider the risk of getting another 3 Doors Down song in our lives. The one consolation of another Bush in office would be the possibility of a Sir-Mix-a-Lot / Vanessa Williams Christmas special on iTunes.
If Miliband does win, it doesn’t mean we get Coolio back on the air (but it should) and a Clinton back in the Presidents seat, but it would mean the working class in a media saturated world are tuning in instead of turning off, at least in one major Western culture. Considering all the Presidential candidates haven’t yet announced, I have high hopes for an as-of-yet unannounced surprise that brings in the resurgence of 1980’s top 5 (3 years after Jimmy Carter took office):
1. Call Me, Blondie
2. Another Brick In The Wall, Pink Floyd
3. Magic, Olivia Neeton-John
4. Rock With You, Michael Jackson
5. Do That To Me One More Time, Captain and Tennille
Does Jimmy Carter have any kids with political aspirations?
P.S. Some of you may have noticed David Cameron is drawn in the style of Wallace and Grommet claymation. Very observant. You win a cookie.*
*not really a cookie, more likely a crudely drawn anthropomorphic cat or three
National SAE President Brad Cohen recently vented his talcum powder-coated opinion, saying that David Boren’s claim that OU SAE chapter members learned the racist chant four years ago while in a national leadership cruise was “disgusting, one-sided and biased” as well as “inflammatory and self serving.“
I noticed Brad didn’t say the allegations are untrue. He went on to say that perhaps Mr. Boren shouldn’t be president of the university if he can’t run an impartial investigation. This is coming from a graduate of the fine state of Arizona, a state perhaps best known for its string of schools remarkable for their studious fortitude and inclusiveness. (And blue meth.)
I think Mr. Cohen is a bit hurt that President Boren crossed over his imaginary collegiate thin Burberry-tartan line. What I do know is that, recently, a friend of mine — also a lifelong friend of Mr. Boren’s — died after a long, 29-year struggle with mental illness and addiction.
Everyone in the art community knew and loved Spencer Mellow, so did many in the faith community and even many in a few more debauched local communities. Spencer was known for having the most love to give out of anyone we knew, so it came as no surprise that in his funeral photo montage were images of a quite young Spencer sitting at one of Mr. Boren’s more stately desks. (Checking for grammatical errors and good ideas, no doubt.) What did surprise me was seeing Mr. Boren sitting quietly, drawing no attention to himself, taking time to say goodbye to a kid he loved for an all-too-brief but brilliance-filled few decades. Just that day he appointed Jabar Shumate as University of Oklahoma’s vice president, a new position intended to foster stronger multicultural relations, among other tasks, and now there he was taking time away from what had to be an incredibly busy transitional time to pay respects to the most chaotic, flamboyant, hardest working and hardest partying creatives I have ever known.
I’d hardly call those the actions of a man who is “disgusting, one-sided, biased, inflammatory” or “self serving.” In fact, I’d say that was some of the most Christ-like, leadership-quality behavior I’ve seen out of an Oklahoman in one day since Representative Emily Virgin single handedly freed the LGBT community with her red pen.
Despite having family in the political realm, I have never met Mr. Boren, but I would gladly shake his hand out of respect, and I prefer that he runs that crimson insane asylum most of us adore so much. Better an ex-politician who cares enough about people to bring real change, than one who would rather sing the songs of the same.
So you might be asking yourself, “What does Ralph Waldo Ellison, author of Invisible Man (1952) have to do with any of this?” I’m glad you asked.
This month (April) is Mr. Ellison’s birth month, and seeing as how he is both an Oklahoman and he wrote the 1950s version of Fight Club, from the perspective of a black man in Harlem, but as an existential criticism of cultural relations and modern man’s many roles in Western society instead of a think piece on the joy and escapism that cubicle life offers.
This makes it the perfect book for revisiting right now, and I hope you do, and frankly I hope it is handed out to every student who joins OU in the next year, regardless of color, status, or singing ability. Clearly we have gone too long without seeing or reading about a man making difficult choices in times of cultural upheaval.
PS: During my research, I found out Mr. Boren’s aunt used to write songs, and met Elvis Presley as a budding musician (she also cowrote “Heartbreak Hotel) , so needing one more catification to make 3 total, it seemed a lovely choice. Hope you enjoy.
“Letting the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back” – Will Rogers
Oklahoma is burlap-sacks full of entertainers who make history, both past and present. So when my tax guy (Crotts and Assoc.) said he would give me a break on my filing fees if I made him a catification that didn’t give him and his clients more anxiety, I knew just who would be next on my list – Brad Pitt. Who I would have gladly catified, except every time I try it ends up looking like Paul Reubens, so I went with the next best Okie, Will Rogers. You might all remember him from the airport. I chose his iconic pose with his wrangling rope because I like to imagine Will Rogers the zombie coming back as a half cat, half man ready to rope and can all the legislative alley cats that are making a discrimination-free day and living harder to come by for the fine people here in Oklahoma – but with a wry smile and a quip that would make Senator Lankpurr show emails.
I’d also like to announce the first Boo Science Tshirt, a Mary Howlin retro and very patriotic design. Buy it soon, or you clearly hate Oklahoma, God, and the sanctity of your wardrobe.
As for the other cats, you know how Anchors are, you catify one for doing a tremendous interview (thanks Morgan Chesky!) and they all want to be creeped out by seeing themselves as an anthropomorphized cat. Buncha weirdos, but we love them.
I have a buddy (hey Kade!) down south who graduated with a “Bach in Government”, from The Cats Meow in the French Quarter, I presume, which I think means he knows a lot about the classical music played in Federal building elevators. He told me I might want to take a look at Mississippi’s Mexico (aside from actual Mexico) for some Senatorial cat inspiration. Well it it turns out Kade was right, which is shocking, because I’ve lived in Louisiana and it usually takes a few beers before anyone I knew down there would tell you anything but a joke about boobs, their politicians, or Mississippi. That must mean things are serious down there, or their politicians look exactly like cats. I’ll let you decide, but stay on the lookout, aside from catifying their hooked loving (Sen David Vitter), and evangelical (Sen Bill Cassidy – in this case for his state’s environmental recovery funding) senators I’ll be looking at a few other Mush-mouthed candidates. I’m looking at you, Governor Bobbikins Jangles.
Also, please enjoy a pothole as a politician, mostly because we have horrible pothole problems here in the Oklahoma City metro area, but also because I find the visual of Oklahoma’s most something something Senator, James Lankford, happily snarking from a 5 foot deep water-filled pothole freaking hilarious.
Norman, Oklahoma’s District 44 badass Representative Emily Virgin saved Oklahoma from a lot of legal trouble, embarrassment, and bankruptcy thanks to an ammendment to an ammendment to the Religious Freedom Act of Oklahoma. The piece in question was an ammendment that would potentially allow discrimination against gay and lesbian patrons in Oklahoma, among other minority groups. Representative Virgin simply added a few small details requiring businesses to post in public, everywhere, the exact brand of bigotry that business puts in practice. BRAVO. That is seriously the best play against hate I have ever witnessed in the Oklahoma legislature. Me and all the furry employees at Boo Science hope to see that type of leadership claw it’s way all the way to the top. I’ve got a ladder if anyone gets stuck, but I doubt Virgin will need help navigating the heights of future politics, wherever it takes her.
Second, below are a few “catification”, where people have donated whatever they feel appropriate, then I catify them and donate 10% to the Oklahoma Medical Research Foundation. These are local Okies, who I’ve found make gorgeous cats, so it’s a pleasure to bring you my renditions of people who like cartoon cats for some reason.
Lastly, I doodle a lot. Sometimes it’s about things that largely and specifically only apply to me. I apologize in advance for all future comics that have this quality. The Anatomy of Manspreading comic below is one of those. And for the record, I don’t manspread in public, you fellow lads shouldn’t either, and ladies, keep the purses off empty seats.
People have been asking to be catified, which is totally weird, but cats are SUPER weird, so it seems fitting. I’m not sure how to structure the cost, other than charging a decent flat hourly rate for (usually) 2 hours worth of stylus work, so until further notice my digital catifications will be on a per donation basis. If you want a print or a painting the cost will depend of the subject and time/materials requires, and priced accordingly. Simply message me (firstname.lastname@example.org) and we can get started. 10% of donations will go to OMRF.ORG (Oklahoma Medical Research Foundation), a very reputable research facility that deals with, among other things, alzheimers and heart disease. I will be offering more choices in the near future for your donated monies. Stay tuned.
As for today’s cats, Don Young just garnered catification due to media attention on his idea to solve Alaska’s homelessness problem with wolves. Yes, really. Oklahoma’s 32nd was drawn due to his bassadness, baseball skills, and willingness to serve Oklahoma during its fight for anything but baseball or kids (not Randy’s fault, thus far). If you want to read about an Okie truly huge in Japan, go read about Representative Randy Bass, he is in the Japanese Tiger’s top 5 all time players, and still holds the highest recorded Japanese batting average, a respectable .389, nothing to shake a stick at.
If you have any suggestions for catification donation monies, contact me, I’ll do the research and offer more as I find the good ones.
A request to catify NYC Mayoral Candidate John Catsimatidis was delivered by Katie Honan over at DNAinfo. After reading up on the Greek billionaire, seeing his face, and then imagining what a billionaire would do with a tabloid newspaper if he bought it right after he lost an election amused me so much I had to draw him. I think it turned out pretty swank.
That accounts for Catsimatidis, which happens to be the only politician so far that didn’t need his or her name catified, and there’s an excellent reason for Senator Barbara Mewkulski, that I’ll get to in a moment, but what about the young Danish political socialite in a dinner setting? Well, I woke up this morning and reddit was briefly alarming some obscure conservative trend setter in Denmark, and then posting a copious volume of her self published scantily clad modeling photos (among plenty of professional and official portraits) along with a furious smattering of half way translated interview responses, profile information and links to her policies. I figured she was so instantly admired for her progressive conservative politics by a traditionally left leaning demographic that she might just be onto something new with her youthful ideas, her perhaps original platforms. Maybe she will get famous, hit a talk circuit and rub off on some of the politicians around here. I’m sure someone out there would love to see Senator Lankford in his most comfy oversized sweater talking about the definition of marriage.
And finally, but most importantly, I was just doing my usual Google search for senator cat jokes and a story came across about Maryland Senator Barbara Mikulski has announced she will not be seeking reelection in 2016, effectively retiring as the longest running woman to serve in Congress. Take the time to read over some of her achievements, she has kicked open the doors of progress for women and men alike, doing all sorts of things like making it legal for women Senators to wear pants (no joke), course correcting the federal spending during several crises, all while basically adopting every stray female Senator that ever made her way to the floor. She is highly respected and I’m sad I didn’t know who she was sooner. Hopefully she achieves her final goals, one of which is to achieve equal pay for women. Seriously, read up on her, she’s a badass who made this a better country with her service.
(NOT SAFE FOR WORK photos of Nikita) http://imgur.com/a/knGCv
Since I started drawing politicians as cats a few weeks ago I’ve received a few requests. These are a few, some others were US Senators that will be done this week, but I’d like to keep the names a secret until they’re done. It’s more fun that way. Til then I had a blast learning about de Blasio (cat named by @HowardHalle of timeout.com) and his incredibly confusing career as Mayor in New York. I found an ancient photo of the guy from the old college days, or perhaps volunteering at a wig making factory, it’s hard to tell because of the lack of pixels. I do know I have had a fro myself and I know how difficult maintaining such great heights on helmet prone hair can be, so the photo I needed to work from was obvious.
Assemblywoman Michele Fiore (Nevada R) believes humans are a fungus and we should stop spending so much money on expensive treatment and just flush each other occasionally with salt water. There’s just nothing I can saw about that without sobbing mathematically, so I won’t.
As far as Dorman goes, we just really like him around here, despite his recent troubling lack of participation in all Oklahoma things that are political. I miss a groomed orange beard telling us what the kids need but definitely won’t get. I hope we see him again very soon. Until then, let me know below who you want catified. I just might include it in the next request fulfillment.
Request for de Clawsio – http://www.timeout.com/newyork/blog/artist-renders-state-pols-as-new-york-kitties
It seems Netflix didn’t want me to do anything but imagine Kevin Spacey as a cat this weekend, and this was the result. I’d vote for him. Or clean his litter box. Whichever he required.
Now stop looking at cats on the Internet and go watch season 3 of House of Cards. You won’t be sorry.
Last week Idaho made news on the webs and in my morning coffee when local Rep. Vito Barbieri (R) took time out of a hearing to discuss which hole or holes leads to the vagina in the human female anatomy, whether or not women could just swallow a pill with a camera in it to diagnose a legitimate pregnancy or a lack of Jesus in the heart. Once educated on the matter I’m sure moved on to more important matters like finding out which entrances to the House he should be using during business hours, honestly I’m not sure, but I love the idea of him sitting there playing with one of those little cameras, wondering not where it had been, but where it could go. Bravo, Idaho, forward thinking like that is what keeps political progress and science swiftly moving forward equitably in the colon of America. Or vagina. Whichever.
Anyway, thanks goes out to Vito for helping me pick which two US State Senators to draw next for my Politicians as Cats series. I owe you one, Vito, just let me know how I can pay you back, just as long as it doesn’t involve doing anything medical in your state.
Oak & Ore is a new and amazing place to get your temperature controlled draft beer fix, it’s rustic, clean, industrial, and modern all the same time, and if that isn’t enough to entice you, tomorrow the Marshall Brewing team will be showing off a keg of a pineapple infused version of This Machine IPA, an incredible beer I was lucky enough to sample This Machine, named for the iconic Woody Guthrie guitar with that very message printed on its face. The beer is by far the best IPA I’ve ever had, so I’m extremely excited to try the limited pineapple infused version, lovingly called Pineapple Express, tomorrow at Oak & Ore in Oklahoma City’s Plaza District. Beer starts pouring at 5pm, get there fast if you want to keep your glass, supplies are limited.
I hope the people over at Marshall Brewing like my take on their beer and Woody, and I hope you liked it too.
Oak & Ore – 1732 NW 16th St, Okc Ok
Thursday February 26, 5pm
Facebook event : https://www.facebook.com/events/1588164724762671/
Politicians as Cats – New York edition (with extry kitty, Governor Cuomew!)
Well, as part of an exercise to increase my stylus-foo I have found myself looking at NY politicians specifically to turn into cats, on my tiny phone screen, with an ultimate goal of producing all US Senators into feline figureheads. To finish off the Senators I did a bit of research, starting with Senator Kirsten Gillibrand. I prefer to use the political equivalent of glamor shots, usually of the politicians standing in front of a clearly fake library, but in the top of my Google search was a photo so picturesque, so enchanting I had to use the Internet’s most beautiful cat sensation as inspiration. It came out beautifully, I’d like to think. I certainly wouldn’t read over her legislation for spelling errors.
As for Schumer and Cuomo I simply grabbed my stylus, closed my eyes, meditated on the American flag while The Boss played softly in the next room and their digital paintings just happened, like the sum total of dead relocated homeless artists used my hand as a vessel. God bless New York, may its picket fence feline kings and queens roam free and fed for lives to come.
I’ve been teaching myself to use a stylus and digital paint techniques, and what better way to do that is there than after painting the Senators (State Senators, local politicians, heck, sometimes even Governors) one at a time, as they make the news? None that I can think of, but when I do I’ll do that, instead.
Recently New York has seen a string of machete attacks, two that I can find in public records in the last year. Queens politician and state Senator Tony Avella is of the opinion that machetes should be banned, due to this horrific upturn in Vietnam era weaponry based attacks, which brings to light a few lingering questions, like – How will lawn service experts cut through the thicks of jungle in the Queens suburbs? Does a brisket sabre qualify as a machete, and if so, how will this legislation deal with the need for smaller buns where businesses serve sliced brisket now that they have to use butter knives to cut BBQ? And most importantly, as long as we are banning physical attack types one at a time, and not just assault or murder overall, are there plans in place to legislate against making any more movies based on toys from my childhood? I’m starting to take that shit personally. Whatever happens, I hope Senator Tony continues his epic and time critical battles against out-of-date arms and county squirrel massacres*.
*Senator Tony Avella joined animal rights protesters standing against the Hazzard County Squirrel Slam in 2013
It appears back in October a boat owned by Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was found to be hiding 90 pounds of cocaine, just enough to kick off his 73rd birthday today, February 20th. I sure hope they were able to find a secondary sources, which seems likely, considering the people he knows at work.
It’s not a new tradition in the American political realm to get caught smuggling, Roosevelt’s grandfather smuggle opium into China, Joe Kennedy supposedly smuggled rum in alumni events, which seems a little like smuggling xanax into Lindsay Lohan. The point is, Mitch is in good company and I’m sure that whatever party favors he plans on handing out tonight they will be in plentiful supply, tax free, and might possibly come with an official Senatorial straw.
So for my birthday today I thought I’d give the good people of the Internet and my friends a gift, instead of begging for shots of whiskey made in more northern states at the Red Dog (a beginners and retiree stripper’s strip club that serves a nice burger here in Okc). I’m working on a series that exhibits the U. S. Senators as cats, so for my birthday I will give you a preview with my home state’s offerings, Jim Inhofe and James Lankford, with bonus* district representative, Sally Kern and Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin (added by request). If you enjoy this keep an eye out, I’ll be posting more state senators throughout the year.
*bonus politician as a cat