- Coordinated an equal cats rights nap-in while attending the University of Chicatgo
- Spoke against big tuna bailouts
- Ranking minority member of the Senate Budgie Watch Committee
I’m sorry to see him go, I would have enjoyed another year to see what Scott Brooks could do without so many injuries, but Thunder knows best and I’m sure they have their reasons for letting Mr. Brooks go from position of Thunder head coach. I’m sure there will be offers up for a talented cat as he saunters through Thunder Alley one last time. Good luck, Coach.
Robert Lorton III, a former publisher at the Tulsa World, has sprung a secret project upon the World, or rather, built one using its (former) resources. At least four journalists have left the World to take an opportunity offered by the only man who could have saved me time from redrawing Rick Moranis in this Honey I Shrunk The Kids parody. The nature of the media group is unknown, but R. L. III probably didn’t hire 4 or more journalists so his name would be spelled right on his morning coffee.
Personally I hope the new project, dubbed The Frontier, is a 24 hour Uber-like service wherein journalists will come to the location you request from your app, and the journalist will write the blurb, take social media photos, and push out a press release for whatever you need – your morning coffee pontifications, what you’re eating for lunch, perhaps a brief interview of you at your favorite bands concert. Whatever they decide to do, I’m looking forward to drawing more cartoons parodying Rick Moranis movies.
A huge thanks goes to redditor daveac1982 for inspiring the last two comics with a cat wrangling request!
by Anthony Pego
If Ed Miliband fails to capture the working class vote with his Hollywood cowboy President inspired responses to the conservative party leader and current UK Prime Minister David Cameron, I predict Hillary Clinton will lose the election in 2016.
Miliband is apparently an aficionado in things Americana, especially Ronald Reagan and his political tactics and theatrics. Miliband has also had a clear message, one that aims to convince center-left voters their actions on Downing Street will benefit more of those in need than just a few lucky public housing tenants who might suddenly find themselves able to buy a government subsidised home.
Unfortunately, the issue for Miliband and his Labour party appears to be the lack of a time line expected in delivering their goals, and it appears the public isn’t waiting around to find out when he thinks he can deliver. Three weeks out from an election is pretty short notice; I don’t blame them.
Which brings me to Clinton:
If Clinton does not pick a message to deliver to the nation in a concise, consistent, and time oriented fashion sooner rather than later I fear the notion of “Are you better off now than 20 years ago?” (I’m paraphrasing, but guessing it’s a safe bet the Republicans will, at some point, remind us of the time the Clinton dynasty shut down the government), a classic play from Reagan’s book, delivered by George Bush IV (aka: Jeb) might be just enough rhetoric to unseat the Democrats entirely.
For a brief moment, people will think about racial tensions, extinct diseases reemerging, runaway weather pattern changes, mass extinctions, man-made earthquakes, water scarcity, unmanagable inflation, a continually shrinking middle class, the militarization of our Girl Scouts and they will think “No, I’m not really better off than 20 years ago,” and that will be enough to give the other candidate a shot. And right now Jeb Bush is the other guy.
What some of you may fail to remember is though the Clinton administration did hold all but minimum government function hostage for 3 weeks, the holdout is credited by the Congressional Budget Office for leading the country to a balanced budget and eventual surplus. If economical outcomes isn’t your thing, perhaps taking a glance at what just a few years of a Clinton in the White House will do for the state of music in our country, may I present the top 5 songs in 1995 (3 years into the Clinton administration):
1. Gangsta’s Paradise, Coolio
2. Waterfalls, TLC
3. Creep, TLC
4. Kiss from a Rose, Seal
5. On Bended Knee, Boyz II Men
Now let’s take a look at the top 5 songs in George Bush Jr.’s third year :
1. In Da Club, 50 Cent
2. Ignition, R. Kelly
3. Get Busy, Sean Paul
4. Crazy In Love, Beyonce feat. Jay Z
5. When I’m Gone, 3 Doors Down
And finally let’s see 3 years into Bush Sr.’s administration:
1. End of the Road, Boyz II Men
2. Baby Got Back, Sir Mix-a-Lot
3. Jump, Kris Kross
4. Save the Best for Last, Vanessa Williams
5. Baby-Baby-Baby, TLC
I believe I’ve illustrated my point: If we want more TLC than we know what to do with on the radio, another Clinton must sit in the Oval Office, especially when you consider the risk of getting another 3 Doors Down song in our lives. The one consolation of another Bush in office would be the possibility of a Sir-Mix-a-Lot / Vanessa Williams Christmas special on iTunes.
If Miliband does win, it doesn’t mean we get Coolio back on the air (but it should) and a Clinton back in the Presidents seat, but it would mean the working class in a media saturated world are tuning in instead of turning off, at least in one major Western culture. Considering all the Presidential candidates haven’t yet announced, I have high hopes for an as-of-yet unannounced surprise that brings in the resurgence of 1980’s top 5 (3 years after Jimmy Carter took office):
1. Call Me, Blondie
2. Another Brick In The Wall, Pink Floyd
3. Magic, Olivia Neeton-John
4. Rock With You, Michael Jackson
5. Do That To Me One More Time, Captain and Tennille
Does Jimmy Carter have any kids with political aspirations?
P.S. Some of you may have noticed David Cameron is drawn in the style of Wallace and Grommet claymation. Very observant. You win a cookie.*
*not really a cookie, more likely a crudely drawn anthropomorphic cat or three
Open Letter to The Oklahoma City Dodgers: An Official Plea for Greater Goat Acess Consideration to Ensure Continued Success on the Field
By Anthony Pego
Opening day is upon us Okc-based minor league baseball fans (April 9th), and in the name of avoiding spring cleaning we all dust off our fitted hats and foam fingers this time of year. Due to a series of home break-ins over the last year here at Boo Science Labs I’ve felt somewhat cursed, and have become somewhat superstitious. For this reason I have begun researching the best method by which we new OKC Dodgers (formerly the RedHawks) fans may avoid accidentally attracting a curse placed upon our recently rebranded minor-league baseball team.
It turns out a long, long time ago, in a Wrigley Field far away, a man named Billy Sianis, who owned a goat bar, bought himself and his goat both tickets for a Cubbies and Detroit Tigers World Series baseball game. The goat was denied entry at the Wrigley Field gate, and upon being tied to a stake outside, the most controversial and fruitful curse ever placed on a sports team blanketed the Cubs quest for diamond dominance in a World Series.
After much thumbing through old Mad Magazines, the answer has become clear to me: The OKC Dodgers need some level of access to the OKC Dodgers field for goats. In my opinion, we cannot risk denying even a single goat his or her ability to enjoy American baseball, particularly in the beginning days of a franchise rollover. (That’s what we call it when we rename a baseball francise every 10 or so years, right?)
Spring is a special time for families, and for baseball. The two are most definitely not mutually exclusive, barring the few usual local statisticians and cardboard enthusiasts. Recently, in my quest to understand Twitter, I’ve grown to love a herd of goats known as the Hefner Goats, which tend to municipal needs around the Oklahoma City metro area (along with sheep and a Democrat, I’m told). Despite only having one interaction with them on said social medium, I already feel like they are nuclear family. Or at least a rung above my mom’s lazy-eyed King Charles the IIIrd Cousin Dog, or whatever.
Due to my newfound affinity for all things goat, I am considering adopting a dozen or two of the hard working Satan spawns for my personal lawn service, home security, and of course to expand the number of beloved members in my fine Oklahoma baseball loving multi-specied family. As I add goats to my already overly furry family photos, I’ll want to introduce my bearded friends to our favorite family pastime, baseball, and what better than the Oklahoma City Dodgers for their first taste of Americana and non-goat based leather?
As the Dodgers christen their Oklahoma City diamond I ask, nay I beg, them to consider allowing access to, at the very least, a small but premium hillside. Preferably just over left field (the greenest grass grows on the left side). At the very least I think a seat behind the visiting team dugout is in order, reserved for any Okie goat that might want to visit the ballpark with their family, tenders, or their personal herding dogs. Perhaps in the rare occasion that it goes unused it could be occupied by any out-of-town mascots or service animals belonging to active umpires.
Lord knows we all need someone on our side, and in my opinion the proud and all too often blue-collared goat might be just the wooly friend we need right now.
As for the catification of Harry Caray, Twitter follower @Thomas_Reese requested I turn the Cubs and all of baseball’s most beloved voice into a proud feline, and it is my honor to do so. There are some who say Harry Caray was stronger, sharper, somehow better before he sat down to chug beer and sing* songs with the Cubbie fans, but not me. I say the body will do what it may, but being with those you love, or near the field on which they play when you pass away, and having them love you back, is nothing short of a hero’s death. Ladies, gentlemen, heroes, goats and cats, play ball.